Friday, January 22, 2010
Her Dark Matter
It's been a while since we've had one of little heart to hearts! One year ago next month my little sister finally died after 7 years of unbelievable suffering. Her death marked the end of a very dark period of my life. But amazing things are starting to happen, and life truly does go on! I've still been struggling against a myriad of negative emotions though, I feel stuck! During my blog hiatus I started doing these exercises to clear my creative channels. The focus was to release the energies that have been stifling my growth. Most of it was residual energies I set in place during a time when I wasn't feeling very safe in the world. Natural reactions to my personal experiences. But some walls were built quite consciously to ward off the evils long enough for me to gather my strength, find new spiritual allies and establish a stronger connection with the SOURCE. I created walls and boundaries so nothing could get in to harm me while nursing some very deep wounds. I had been hit from every angle! My Broken Dream (having to close my boutique), Love Lost (the worst relationship catastrophe up to date that left me with a mutilated heart). Not to mention one family tragedy after another! For a moment I thought the darkness would swallow me up forever! But I'm almost done healing...and my whole family is finally healing. Thank GOD(DESS)!!!
Mary Queen of Heaven, Most holy Virgin and Mother, whose soul was pierced by Sorrow, pray for us...
Even though the light is shining these days I'm still feeling tired and listless, depressed, sad, angry...sometimes all at once! I'm swimming against the current, but damn...this is exhausting! In addition to doing visualizations to clear my creative channels, I'm starting the Master Cleanse on the next Full Moon! Time to exercise the rest of these fucking demons...I need to move forward! I realize that even bouts of depression can be useful...a while back I wrote about the stage of Alchemy called NIGREDO.
Despair by Alex Grey
"In psychology, Carl Jung interpreted nigredo as the moment of maximum despair, that is a prerequisite to personal development. Nigredo is "the dark night of the soul". He says "Right at the beginning you meet the dragon, the chthonic spirit, the devil or, as the alchemists called it, the blackness, the nigredo, and this encounter produces suffering..." It brings the ego into contact with what it fears. The state of Nigredo is often caused by a traumatic experience, and signifies the natural period of despair. This is where the alchemist has to lose everything. He must give up all attachments and become like a child again. Everything has been destroyed in the fire...Nigredo is the corruption that must take place before growth, the chaos that gives birth to cosmos."
Helix Nebula "Eye of God"
I've been exploring this ideology a bit more lately. In fact something really interesting happened when I started typing this post. I googled "stifling my growth" because I thought I spelled stifling wrong. I could have used the spell check...well anyway an article titled "Dark Energy Found Stifling Growth in Universe" came up! I'm not going dive into quantum physics here...But my point here is that the expansion of the Universe has been slowing due to Dark Energy, Dark Matter. I immediately saw the correlation between this phenomena and my own so I did a little further investigation.
"We live in a cold and empty universe, in a time when energies are so low that we can no longer see what space contained in the fiery instants when the universe was born..."
The Universe is depressed! "AS ABOVE, SO BELOW" Humanity is also plagued with dark energy! "the corruption that must take place before growth, the chaos that gives birth to cosmos." The end is near and the Golden Age is almost here! As the Universe (GOD) works through his/her depression...we will work through ours! 2012 marks a shift in consciousness. It's a revolution, a transformation, a sort of metamorphosis. It just does not happen, but rather it is driven by agents of change." So does the expansion of our Consciousness = expansion of the Universe? vice versa "Elementary, my dear Watson!" Everything is connected...WE are all connected! WE are the agents of change!!!
Going deeper, Gaia, our Mother Earth Is A Living Entity! A living celestial body in a vast Infinite Universe. Scientists are finding that the earth is alive and is communicating like other living beings. The concept that life has to be associated with biology and organic chemistry is becoming an obsolete idea. All planets are living entities! So what about Dark Energy in the Universe? Black Holes, Supernovas, Gamma Rays...these are living entities too! "Black Holes; these massive and terrible intergalactic consumers, caused by the collapse of giant stars and feeding on the wastes of galaxies, are arguably the most powerful and destructive force in the universe." Just like the parasites in our dis-eased bodies and the demons and discarnate spirits (spiritual parasites) that feed upon our minds and souls! So go heal your bodies and wash your soul! Then go make LOVE in your neighborhood because it's time to clean up this mess! WE are the agents of change...
Related Writings: Trials by Fire and the Dark Side of the Moon