Today 50% of American marriages end in divorce...that's not a surprise at all! Even though the average salary has decreased over the past few years, the average cost of a wedding has continued to rise! We are currently looking at an AVERAGE of $30,000!!! That's insane!!! We can blame Disney for "Princess Conditioning" for starters...I won't even go into all that. But people should really start thinking about it. Vera Wang dress....Jimmy Choo shoes...Tiffany "Princess Cut Diamond" Platinum Engagement Ring with matching wedding band (10 Reasons Not to Buy Diamonds Under Any Circumstances) The Jewel is in the Lotus, it's not for sale at Tiffany's! The girl makes "a good catch" and the guy gets his "trophy wife" or vice versa, after the honeymoon is over do these people really even like each other?
I've recently watched almost all my married friends go through divorces. Needless to say, I hang out with a very liberal bunch of folks...but sadly, even most of them subscribed to this American Dream bullshit. Many rushed to the altar because of the feeling of impending doom that turning 30 will bring. Most divorced within a few years...and the others stay in sexless/loveless marriages to maintain the status quo. I can't say my friends who chose not to marry are any better off...oh, the bitterness of those who don't believe in the power of LOVE. (Nightclubs and Bars are a whole different part of Hell) Then there are those whose marriages are based on love, they stay married, work through the bad times together and have truly made a commitment to evolve together. I really do admire them!
I've never been married in a traditional sense of the word. I would say I've been involved in some very passionate Alchemical experiments. I suppose I've followed the path least traveled, and true love, as it seems, will turn up in the most unlikely places. I've climbed as high as LOVE would allow me to wander, only to get thrown back down into perilous pits to work out my issues.
"If a person does not perceive the Eternal that dwells in love, he easily turns it into a personal tragedy. A spark from the eternal fire is then again extinguised in a puddle." Marie-Louise von Franz
My friend Nora is the youngest of 7 children. Her parents stayed madly in love until her father passed away. I asked her to ask her Mom what the secret to a successful marriage was. She said simply: "You have to be a cook in the kitchen, a lady in the living room, and a whore in the bedroom." (Haaa, so funny coming from a very stoic Irish woman in her 70's!) I know all you feminists are shaking your fists at me...I'm just saying...that sounds good to me!
I went through that Woman Warrior period from my teen years until about two years ago when I cut off my dreadlocks that were past my booty. I have a half sleeve of the Warrior Goddess Kali tattooed on my right arm. I know what I'm capable of when things get rough...that will always be a part of me. Feminism helped me through hard times...times when I felt really unsafe and alone in the world. I've come to a place where I'm really comfortable being a Woman though. I don't associate womanhood with being weak, helpless, or passive anymore. So being in a domestic situation doesn't seem threatning or disempowering. I can be a Woman Warrior, a Sex Kitten, and a Domestic Goddess...I'm a multi-tasker! I think people should take the time to get to know themselves. You have to know yourself before you can love yourself, and of course you have to love yourself before anyone else will love you...and love will always come through...but you already know all this...just don't forget!
9 comments:
Well said!
(The "reasons why you shouldn't buy diamonds" link isn't working, just to let you know.)
ooops! I fixed it...thanks! You should read it...it's liberating! xo LL
that's why my engagement ring is from the 1800's.
:)
oxoxox
"10 Reasons Not to Buy Diamonds Under Any Circumstances" <---I seriously thought I was one of the only people who felt that way. This is a great post.
Antique diamonds are a great choice! Or ethically sourced diamonds!
Excellent post, so very well put!
Tecu'Mish
I just think it's a shame we think of divorce as a failure- how about thinking "he was the one I needed at that time, it was a good few years and ended when it had to?" The only reason divorce used to be so unheard of were socio-economic needs, not because we used to be so fabulous at love. Also, because we live 2x as long as when our society 1st developed the iconic marriage ideal. Also because women can get out of abusive situations when before that was virtually impossible. And none of those reasons are bad or regrettable. I had the attitude of "long-term relationships are just not for me" and now I've ended up with the best marriage I've ever even HEARD of (been only 5 years, but..) in part b/c I didn't have the expectations.
And, we only have gold bands and the ceremony was at his house. We served hot dogs.
I'm not saying people get divorced for the wrong reasons these days, I think they get married for the wrong reasons. And you're right...it's a shame that people look at it as a failure instead of a growth experience...hence the quote:
"If a person does not perceive the Eternal that dwells in love, he easily turns it into a personal tragedy. A spark from the eternal fire is then again extinguised in a puddle." Marie-Louise von Franz
Most people who get divorced are totally wrecked...sometimes forever. My mother for example said she never fell in love again after my father broke her heart. She re-married for "practical reasons" she said she loved my step-father but she wasn't "in love" and eventually they divorced too. Soooo sad for her...I swore I would learn from her mistakes. She provides examples of what NOT to do.
I'm no stranger to unhappy endings...but I think everything happens for a reason. I'm older and wiser now, and LOVE justs gets better and better as I allow its mystery and magic to unfold.
I love it that you have gold bands...the eternity band is a beautiful love token!
I enjoy stopping by your blog and particularly appreciated this post. I have sowly been able to start enjoying and embracing my "domestic side" and am glad to know there are others who don't feel that life begins only at the marriage alter (at any cost!). The link to the diamond info is also very much appreciated. Diamonds are indeed no one's best friend! Love your Etsy shop!
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